04 Chap 10

RYANNE:  After staring at the TV for about an hour I turned it off and went back to my room. I go into the bathroom to take care of personal needs. After washing my hands, I look in the mirror at the face staring back at me and told myself, “Ryanne, you have to get your head together lass.”  Sighing, I wash my face and brush my teeth. I go lay on the king size bed curling on my side, I reach under the pillow and wrap my fingers around my doll and pull it to my chest. I have so many questions now for Lhanna. I really needed to get some more rest. Thinking how Tomas let me feed from his wrist, I could not understand why I was feed blood from a cup, enough to live on, but kept weak enough so I could never leave.
               I remember Diarmuid’s words. “You are worthless Ryanne, not good for anything not even breeding.” Then he would slap me so hard across the face I would fall to my knees. He laughed at me and would kick me. He would say “I will be back for you later, I may even bring a friend or two with me.” Then he would laugh as he left me laying on the floor gasping from the pain. The tears kept coming and the pain felt raw all over again.  “I will NEVER be with another male, nor will he lay a hand on me, I am ruined and would never be worthy even if I wanted a male which I definitely don’t!”  Knowing I should tell Lhanna all the things that were done to me; the things he and those other males did that caused me such pain and suffering. That way I would be sure I would not be given to another male since I am damaged goods.
              Waking to a soft knock at my door, I sit up and hear Lhanna; “Ryanne are you up?” I call to her, “Come in Lhanna, sorry I do not know why I slept so late.”  Watching as she pokes her head around the door and smiles at me. Telling me first repast is ready and if I wanted some to come join her and Calin. I smile back as my eyes burn thinking of all the time we have missed. Getting out of bed I tell her I will be right there.  I head in the bathroom to take care of necessities. After washing my hands and running a brush through my hair, I head out to the kitchen. Smiling the best I can, feeling my face heat up, “Good morning Lhanna, Calin”  I know my cousin said Calin is a worthy male, but I am still nervous and intimidated.  Taking a deep breath, I blurt out what I need to say, “Lhanna I would speak to you privately so you will understand what I have to ask of you.”

LHANNA:  Softly tapping on Ryanne’s door, I slowly open it and peek inside.  Seeing her sitting up I step into the room smiling and let her know that the repast has been prepared and she should come join us.  I can only hope with a lot of love, understanding and her feeling secure, the haunted look will leave my cousins eyes.  She looks at me with such hope.  So much love; I will not let her down.  I will never allow her to be a victim again.  Hearing her tell me she will be out shortly I nod telling her we will wait for her and I leave the room.  
           A few minutes later, Ryanne walks into the kitchen, says good morning to us and with eyes downcast, face turning red and says she wants to tell me what she has been through.  Oh dear Goddess!  Am I actually ready to hear this??  But this is not about me; it’s about my cousin and her being able to heal mentally as well as physically.  Looking at Calin with a small smile, he gives me a barely discernable nod.  He knows she and I need to be alone for this heart wrenching conversation.

CALIN:  “Good evening Ryanne.”  Hearing the words come spilling out in a rush, I feel Lhanna’s eyes on me.  Giving her a slight nod, I get to my feet, taking my plate loaded with scrambled cheese eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries and 3 English muffins, I make my way to the door, whistling for the dogs.  “Baby I’ll be down at Viho’s.  You need anything you just call, all right??”  Seeing Lhanna smile, I wink, pucker my lips in an air kiss and leave the females to talk.
RYANNE:   “Good evening Calin” Smiling at him, he then looks over to Lhanna who gives him a quick nod, he takes his plate and leaves with it. Sitting down at the table I take a plate and place a small amount of scrambled eggs, sausage and home fries. Pouring a glass of orange juice, I take a sip, put the glass down and turn to Lhanna. “I wanted to tell you things that have happened so you can understand my frame of mind at times.”  Looking into her eyes, “Last night while I feed from Tomas, I was afraid he was going to pull away and hit me, I kept eyeing the knife on the table. Diarmuid let me feed once, but only to pull away and punch me for being greedy. After you left me in my room to rest, something woke me. I was on my way to the living room to watch TV when I heard noises from your room, the door wasn’t closed all the way.”  Turning red I continue,  “I thought he was hurting you and almost came in to help you. Then he said he loved you.” Looking down trying to find the right words.              “Lhanna, it was always painful and I didn’t like it. But... but you seemed like you were enjoying it; does it not hurt when Calin takes you?”  My eye’s stare straight ahead, drifting back to the first time.  “The first time Dairmuid had come into my room, he just threw me over the side of the bed on my stomach, pulling my dress up and ripped off my under garments. He pushed into me so hard I screamed with the pain, it felt like my insides were ripped apart. I bled for hours after he left me there crying. Every time he touched me it hurt and if I cried he would hit me. He made me take it in my mouth and he would laugh as I gagged when he came. I could not stand the smell of him or his touch. After a while he only starting coming around once or twice a month. Then it was only to see if I was in CT. When I never took with a childing, he beat me.”  I pause as the visions and the pain flash through my mind; swallowing I continue on. “Then he started bringing his friends into my room and he would watch as they raped me Lhanna.” whispering, “in both places.”  I could feel the tears running down my face, I feel so ashamed.  “After a while I just went numb to everything and just layed there. Thats when the beatings got worse; he said I did not appreciate everything he had given me.”  Taking a sip of the juice trying to swallow the lump in my throat.  I cannot look at Lhanna so I continue on
           One of the guards, Dooley Martin, had given me a dagger for protection knowing what had been going on.  Diarmuid came to me one night, drunk as usual ready to beat me just because..  As Diarmuid stood over me with his fist raised, ready to punch me, I lunged up at him and I stabbed him in his black heart.”  Finally looking up at Lhannas’ face,  “I NEVER want to feel a males hands on me EVER again!  Promise me Lhanna...  you HAVE to promise you will never give me to another male!!!!”  Jumping up from the table sobbing uncontrollably, I race down the hall back to my room
 
LHANNA:    My cousin begins to tell me how she was restless and couldn’t sleep.  Oh dear Goddess!  She had heard Calin and I the previous day and she had thought the worst.  Thank goodness she hadn’t come in to my “rescue.”  Feeling my face turn crimson at her next comment about enjoying it.  All I can do is nod at her and say “Yes, sweetie I do.”  She continues on and her next words fill me with a rage that caused my fists to clench at my sides.  She was just a girling, when that bastard father of hers sold her!  The tears are burning behind my eyes. Her story continues to get worse.  Gang raped, sexually abused, and beaten.  The tears fall freely from my eyes; for Ryanne and all that she suffered.                 My head is spinning as I try and grasp all that my sweet cousin is telling me!!  Ryanne who use to run barefoot chasing the butterflies while I practiced with my sword.  Sweet Ryanne; her innocence taken so maliciously. I am going with the squad to Ireland to investigate what is left of this shit bags farmstead and family.  I will burn the damn place down to the ground myself for Ryanne.  My tears fall freely.  A feeling of pride fills me as mo chol ceathrair <my cousin> tells me how she finally fought back and killed the pathetic excuse for a male.  The Baobhan-Sith blood runs through her veins.  What she did took guts.  Finally looking up at me, her face red and streaked with tears.  Her eyes haunted.  The next thing out of her mouth has me so floored, I’m frozen to the spot.  “I NEVER want to feel a males hands on me EVER again!  Promise me Lhanna...  you HAVE to promise you will never give me to another male!!!!”   It took a second for it to register.  Tearing after her down the hall, how could she think I would ever “give her away???”
             Reaching her door I find her curled into a tight ball clutching something to her chest.  Walking toward the bed, wiping the tears from my eyes I gently get up on the bed next to her and began stroking her hair off of her face.  Clutched in her arms is the rag doll I had given her for her many so very long ago!  She still has it after all this time.  New pain washes over me for Ryanne; she will have her due and those males who violated her will die by my own hand.  THIS I swear.  Leaning against the headboard, I gather her to me; “Ryanne, sweetie.  I would never, ever “give’ you to any male no one here will.  Females CHOOSE their mates and if you don’t want one that is ok too.”   We cried together.  Rubbing her back and making soothing sounds, I want her to know she is safe, protected and loved and nothing or no one will ever harm her again... 

03 Chap 10

RYANNE: Looking around the room Lhanna gave me to stay in, I was overwhelmed how beautiful and how large it was. As she closed the door I turned and almost locked it. But Dolhanna was going to bring me some clothes to put on. I walked over to the bed and ran my hand over the Forest Green comforter. It took my breath away; it was so soft. I smelled the air, it reminded me of fresh linens. One of my favorite scents that reminded me of my childhood before my life had been brutally changed forever. My childhood ripped from me. Going into the bathroom I could not help but smile. It was the biggest shower I had ever seen, and there was a large sunken tub. Turning on the water in the shower to get warm I slipped out of my clothes, tossing them into the trash. Climbing into the shower, standing under the warm spray I turn my face up into the water. It felt so good, turning letting it massage my back, I could still feel where Diarmuid had kicked me. Grabbing the shampoo I dumped some into my hands and started to lather my hair. Smiling at the fresh scent Lhanna had selected. All the scents of our childhood.

After rinsing and conditioning my hair I scrubbed every inch of my flesh till I finally felt clean. Turning off the water I grab a towel drying off, still seeing bruises on my legs and arms. I shiver remembering how they got there. After towel drying my hair, I comb out the tangles. Looking around I find a dryer, so I put it to use. Looking in the mirror , I smile a little and my eyes start to mist over. Sighing thinking nothing can change the past and I have missed so much. I have to go forward if I want to get on with my life. Walking out into the room there was a T-shirt and yoga pants waiting for me, also a package of boy cut briefs and a few bras. After getting dressed I pull my flip flops from my backpack, I walk back into the suite. Bear and Jewels came to greet me. I could not help but smile as they danced around my legs as I walked.Sitting on the table was the food Lhanna had promised. My stomach let out a big rumble and I let out a laugh as I grabbed an apple and took a bite out of it. As I sat down at the table I start looking under all the trays sitting there. So much for just 3 people, this would last me for 2 weeks. Just then I heard the door handle move, my mind went back to the day that set me free. Grabbing a knife I stood scared facing the door,but ready to protect myself.

02 Chap 10

LHANNA: Seven of the new warriors that transferred in have arrived over the last three days. Of course we are waiting on Rego who should be here no later than Monday. He always did march to a different beat than everyone else. Needing to burn off some steam, I decided to go down to the gym for a workout with the heavy bag. Just as I’m about to get up from my desk the intercom starts to beep. Pressing the button, “Baobhan-Sith here.” “General, sorry to disturb you but there is a female here at the security gate who claims she is your cousin Ryanne Ó Floinn.” “Leavy what the hell did you just say??!!” My cousin Ryanne died a long, long time ago. It was shortly after my momah and popah were killed. What in the hell was this?? “I will be there in a few Leavy, you keep her there.” Stepping from behind the desk, without thought, I reach for my sig and secure at my hip. Heading out of my office, down the hall with determination, domestics scattered to get out of my way. If this is someone’s sick idea of a joke, this shit is NOT funny. Stepping out of the security vestibule and into the balmy night air, I vapor to the security gate. Forming at the booth, I step inside and the breath leaves my body; my heart begins to pound. Shaking my head in disbelief as I look at a female with a battered face, but determination and strength in her eyes. It can’t be. Taking a step forward, “Ryanne?? Is it really you?” Watching the female get to her feet, I can sense she is nervous and excited at the same time. Moving to stand in front of me, two warriors start to move toward her. I hold up a hand and she walks up to me smiling, I would know that smile anywhere. “Yes Lhanna, it’s me!”

RYANNE: I was told to sit, and the General would be with me shortly. I smiled to myself, that would be Dolhanna ,to be in charge of things. I heard footsteps and somebody gasped. Looking up I see her, mo chol ceathrair, mo chara. (My cousin, my friend). Lhanna stood with such a shocked look on her face. I stood and moved toward her on weak legs. I smile as I hear her speak “Ryanne? Is it really you?” As tears threaten to come to my eyes I raise my hand and notice I was shaking. “Yes Lhanna, it’s me!” I move forward not sure what to do. My smile widens as I reach for her hand just to feel her, to make sure this is real not just another dream. I stop myself, unsure, because I was told she had better things to do then spend time with me. But the look on her face I see shock, wonder and questions. I now knew this had been another lie Diarmuid had told me to keep me from my family.”Lhanna?”

LHANNA: “Oh dear Goddess.. What... When?? How??” My eyes fill with tears, I try to swallow the lump that is lodged in my throat; the words will not form. Throwing my arms around her, I began to cry in earnest. Ryanne and I were so close when we were youthlings and then one day she was just gone. Shortly thereafter, my parents were murdered and Harriet took us to my Uncle Mhenance. He moved the royal household to America soon after we arrived and that was well over two centuries ago. I often thought of Ryanne, missing her and hoped I would find her one day. It was as if she disappeared into thin air. Word came to us that her family had died. Ryanne had been given to this horrid male much older than her. Uncle Mhenace thought he had located her, at my request, and that bastard male told his King that Ryanne had died. He told Uncle Mhenance she purposefully walked out into the daylight, taking her own life. That bastard will pay. Finally letting go of her, both of us laughing through our tears, I ask her where in the name of the Goddess had she been?? I told her what was told to Uncle Mhenance. Taking her by the arm I lead her out of the guard house and I decided it would best if we walk back to the Estate so she can fill me in. Just as the Estate comes into view, I am speechless as she finishes telling me all that she has been through. That bastard is lucky he died the way he did. As far as I am concerned, Inert got him and no one needs to know anything different. Stopping at the elaborate outside staircase, Ryanne’s eyes go wide. “You live here??” Smiling and taking her hand, she notices my mated band for the first time. Her eyes look haunted. Reassuring her that Calin is truly a commendable male and I love him like crazy she gives me a small nod. Entering the security vestibule, the outer door locks behind us and the inner door opens with a buzz and we step into the foyer. There are domestics milling about attending their various duties. Looking at how gaunt my cousin looks, “You are just in time Ryanne. It’s almost time for mid meal; we can go to my suite and Aron will fix us up something to eat. AND you can meet Bear and Jewels. Calin is down at the training camp and won’t be back for a few hours yet.” With carefully chosen words, I also let her know it might not be such a bad idea for to feed so she can aid her healing process more. I watch as she looks in awe around the Estate; making our way up the heavily carpeted steps, taking left and right turns through the many hallways, I can’t imagine the hell she has been through. Watching her eyes taking in all of the elaborateness that is the Estate, “Beidh tú i gcónaí a bheith sábháilte agus a chosaint sa col ceathrar teach.” <You will always be safe and protected in this house cousin.> If Mhenance knew what that piece of shit father of hers was about, he never would have allowed a girling to be sold and then to be beaten and abused. Ryanne deserves a truly worthy male. Her mother was cousin to my late Aunt, the Queen. That is NOT how things are done when Baobhan-Sith’s sit on the throne. Stopping in front of the Suite door, I turn to her smiling and will the door open. Stepping into the living room, Jewels and Bear come bounding down the hall. “Welcome to our home Ryanne.” 

RYANNE: I was at such a loss for words when Lhanna drew me into a big hug, trying not to gasp as a pain shot through my ribs.. Holding on tight I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. Then she grabs my hand and starts walking. I proceed to tell her what happened the day I left and about Diarmuid and how he had abused and beat me. And how Dooley and Adiel helped me find her get the proper credentials to leave the country.
When we reached the Estate, my mouth dropped open “You live here?”. It was huge. As we walked in she told me I would meet her mate; after assuring me he is a wonderful, knd male, my nerves settled a bit. After what I had been through, I trust very few males.. With a slight pull Lhanna told me I would be safe in the king’s home and would never have to worry about being hurt again. I looked around in wonder at all the beautiful artifacts and artwork. It reminded me of our dream castle when we were younglings.
I was glad they were going to have mid-meal, I was hungry and tired from not sleeping for the past several days. When Lhanna mentioned feeding to help speed up my healing, my heart skipped a beat. Looking at Lhanna I knew she had my best interest at heart. “ I do not know the last time I had feed cousin, I was never allowed to feed I was always given small amounts of blood to get me by. I have not feed on fresh blood in a long time.” We arrived to a door which she willed open and two dogs came at us bouncing around in excitement. Laughing, I reached down and scratched behind the larger one’s ears. “ Lhanna they are beautiful! Your home is something out of a fae tale. Thank you for having me.” 

LHANNA: Hearing her explain that the piece of shit she was married to barely offered her nourishment. Again, that bastard is lucky is already dead. I will have to speak to Calin regarding what is going on with that family homestead. I will burn it to the ground myself. Focusing back on Ryanne, I think I will call one of the warriors up for her to feed from. She needs a strong blood to help her heal. “Ryanne?? Will you be comfortable feeding from a male warrior? I want you to have nourishment. If you are not comfortable I will get you a female to feed from her wrist. But you will feed. I would make me feel better to have Doc Niko give you a once over. He is the physician for the royal household and the warriors. I will stay with you if you want.” Watching as she gives Bear some good scratching, “you’ve made a friend for life, Bear will stalk you know for that kind of loving. Yes, the Estate is something to behold. I’m going to have Aron, he is our head domestic, set you up with a room not too far from here. You will be very comfortable and can make any changes you like. You can take your meals in the community dining hall or you are welcomed to dine with Calin and myself. You will spend the day here and rest. Now lets get some food in you.” Going to the phone I dial Aron’s extension and let him know what I need from him and to please come and prepare food. Leaving Ryanne in the living room with the dogs, I go to get the guest room ready until Aron arranges a suitable room close to ours for Ryanne. Once she has eaten and fed, I will get her situated for the day and then I need to go speak with Calin and fill him in. 

RYANNE: Looking around Lhanna’s and Calin’s suite I sit with Bear’s head resting on my leg scratching his ears. I listen to Lhanna as she ask me about feeding from one of the warriors. My first reaction was to say no, but I had to stop being scared of trusting people. Looking at her I know she only wants what is best for me and would speed up my healing.She left the room to call to order us some food. My hands were shaking from being so scared. Taking a deep breath when Lhanna came back in the room I answered her questions.“Yes, I will feed from one of the warriors, will you stay please? And yes I will let the Doctor look me over, I know there must be scars from before. I have never asked Adiel if there was.) And Lhanna, I have no clothes with me. I left with what was on my back.I would love to bathe and change out of these. I have money for new ones.” 

LHANNA: Letting out a breath that she agreed to feed was a good thing. “Of course I’ll stay with you. I want you to be comfortable and not afraid. No one here will ever hurt you Ryanne, you have to believe me when I tell you that. Calin runs a tight ship here; as his right hand, we have ZERO tolerance for violence from males to females. None here would ever be so disrespectful of a female.” I have to wonder what happened during her CT. “Of course you can shower! I’m so sorry, I should have thought of that first. Follow me hon, you are going to stay here in the suite tonight. I can give you a pair of yoga pants and a tshirt for now. I will have Darcelle, one of the domestics, do a run to The Westchester to get the things you need for now. You can go shopping yourself in a few days as long as you take a warrior with you, or you can simply order the things you want online. Smiling at her, “Come, I’ll take you to your room. It has a private bath and I will leave the clothes for you on the bed. I may not be back yet from talking with Calin and the Uncle Mhenance. Just make yourself at home and I will be back shortly and we can eat together.
Once she is settled, I close the door to her room and lean against it for a moment. Knowing I need to find Calin and have him meet me so I can tell him and Uncle Mhenance about Ryanne. Walking back into the living room I tell Bear and Jewels to look out for Ryanne and head out in search of Calin.