08 Chap 09

RODMYN: This sitting around is making me bat shit crazy yo. Givin’ me too much time to think; that fuckin’ Inert almost sent me to the other side. The other side is where I wanted to be for a long fuckin’ time. When I lost my little flower I lost me too. Swallowing several times to push the lump down that formed in my throat, I start pacing the length of my living room, rolling my left arm to stretch and work the muscles that are healing themselves rapidly. Shit. Feeling that familiar ache, the longing and the damn loneliness, I know I gotta lock this shit down once more. Put it deep in the recesses of my brain or I may end up in a bad way again. Gonna put it all in the vault and lock it up tight. I can’t let that shit happen again. I won’t do it to my momah or to Dolhanna. When I disappeared for all that time it damn near killed my momah. Boss Lady? That female bent over backwards for me, stuck the hell by me gettin’ clean and got the King to give me another shot. I won’t let them down. I told the General I will always look out for his female when he ain’t there. No fuckin’ way I’m goin’ back down that road. But most important of all, I won’t fuckin’ let myself down.
Sitting on the couch, opening the small draw under the coffee table I reach in a pull out the enamel box. Pushing the lever, the lid flips open. Rubbing my fingers along the edge, I see Jazmin’s picture and her mated rings with mine. They tied together with a black velvet ribbon. Lhanna kept her rings for me all that time. Shaking my head, I took this picture of her. A small smile forms on my lips as I run my index finger over the photo of my mate; a tear rolls from my eye. “I miss you like fuckin’ crazy Jaz. You know you always got my heart. I love you female; always. See you on the other side.” Kissin’ my index and middle fingers I put them to her lips. Carefully puttin’ her picture and our mated rings back in the box, I close it and put it back in the draw closin’ it. Just like I closed the door to my vault and it locked that shit down again. I need to get the hell outta here. Moving my feet towards the kitchen, I grab my cell off the breakfast counter and send BL a text: <restless, coming to get Bear & Jewels for a run on the grounds>. Heading out of the apartment and out the front door, I vapor to the Suite.